2018

thoughts on the past year…

well that was my first ~real~ year of adulting. at the grand old age of 26, i now have a name card, an office and even a secretary of my own to assist me with my work. there were weeks i spent more time in the office than i did at home. there were months i billed more money for the firm than i could make in a year. i was learning a lot gradually and yet i perpetually felt like – still feels like – i know very, very little. and yet above it all, there was this sense of inertia – i didn’t quite know the direction i was going, but i was also quite unable to stop.

the first half of the year flew by. i spent about ~2 weeks in japan, then a week in malaysia to visit my grandparents for cny, and then a short weekend trip to hk. i completed my first major transaction and went home past 2am everyday. i started playing dota again. i remember wanting the year to pass by quickly; i believed if time passed quickly, then i can finally begin the life i wanted.

my first firm trip sometime in july? i dreaded it so much, thinking back to how closed off i felt during corp trip. i hated navigating the snarls of small talk with people i barely knew but had to work alongside 5 days of a week, trying to make the most out of an interaction without revealing too much or anything at all. but you know what, firm trip wasn’t so bad after all. my favourite moments included but are not limited (wow lawyer language wow):

1. being dragged out of my hotel room to go clubbing at 2am
2. all the nice food places i tried bc i was blessed with super organized and smart colleagues who actually planned an itinerary lol
3. watching ti and ordering post-clubbing breakfast at 6am in the morning and falling asleep on someone’s sofa
4. insane drag queen show that went on for 3 hours and i came out of it quite deaf and a picture with a cher lookalike to boot

so yeah it wasn’t too bad after all yeah.

i should include some images but everything is in my phone/ig at this point like who even takes the time to upload images and blog yknow what i mean.

by the time the end of the year rolled by, i applied to clear all of my leave in december (amounting to ~2.5 to 3 weeks). we went to seoul, and then the dolomites to ski and then bali right before the end of the year. i said goodbye to many of my colleagues who tendered before i went for my year end leave. i remember the weekend before D left for london, i went over to his newly renovated home and said hi to his parents and complimented his mum on the new house. i’m so happy for him that he’s finally taking a step closer to what he wants and yet i’m so sad that my first friend at work will be so far away. we’re all going forward, none of us are going back.

on the whole i think i’ve quite succeded navigating/coming around to my first year of adulthood. let’s hope i get better at it, however unnecessary, even painful lol.

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